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To the Victor… Doug wandered through the
quiet halls of the old school he had found and set up as a small base for his
group. It really wasn’t much, and they all knew it, but it had
been home for about four months. It was getting colder now, and
that was proving to be a problem. The old place still had
electricity, but no gas line. They hadn’t needed the heater until
now. That wasn’t the only thing keeping him up, but it was the
most obvious. As he rounded the corner he
saw a light on under Epim’s door. He’d been hoping that she was
still awake, but didn’t realize it until he actually saw that she was.
It had been that kind of night. He knocked, very lightly, on
the door, and entered when she called out it was okay. “Hey,
Doc.” Epim set down her book and
sat up a little straighter in the chair as she grabbed for her notepad.
Doug didn’t call her “Doc” unless it was a professional matter.
“Is everything okay, Doug?” “I’ve had a lot on my mind
lately. I’ve been having odd dreams, too. You have
some time?” She nodded, and he
continued. “Okay, I guess the real stuff first. I’m
not a leader, but that’s the sort of the position I’ve ended up.
It’s like I’m in charge, but only because I objected to it the
least. So, I’ve been trying to live up to that a bit.
I’m scared. This thing Lis stumbled onto last week is
really eating at me. What if whoever sent the killers after that
computer guy is able to track down Lis? We can hold off the Vahz
and Lost in here, but this other group, or whatever is going on seems way too
professional for the seven of us. Even with the traps, I think we
could get overwhelmed in no time at all. “Then there is the stuff in
my head. The Other Guy has been harder to tap into lately.
I’m trying, but it’s almost like he’s not there anymore.
The more I do what you say, the less it seems to work. I
think that ties in with my dreams. “Since the riots, I’ve had
some version of the same dream every night. It’s not really a
dream though. It’s more like a memory that’s being distorted into
a dream. Does that even make sense?” She nodded, once, and he
continued. “Okay. So it
starts out with me alone and surrounded by bad guys. Like, a lot
of bad guys, but I can’t see who they are. It’s like they are all
of the different groups rolled into one. I don’t mean a Clock is
standing next to a Tsoo, and a Hellion, I mean, there is a Clock with tattoos
and a pointy hat, throwing fireballs. You know what I mean?
So, in the dream, they just keep coming. I’m trying to
fight them off, but there are just too many of them. I can’t keep
up. That’s when I hear ‘The Voice’. I can’t tell
where it comes from. It feels like it’s behind me, but I know it’s
not. I’m positive I’m alone. It tells me it will
help, but I have to let it do it. I have to step aside to let it
by, but I can’t. There is nowhere to move. Does that
make any sense at all to you?” “At the moment, no.
Is the voice one you know?” “See, that’s one of the
weird parts. I know I’ve never heard it, but it’s familiar to me,
like I should know who it is.” “And you’ve never been able
to see the person, and they’ve never been able to get past you to
help?” “Correct.” “And do you have any idea
who it might be?” Doug shifted a
little. After a long pause he replied, “I’m starting to think that
it’s my father in some way.” “I don’t think that’s the
case. If it were him, I don’t think he’d be asking you to let him
help. Also, it may have been a long time, but I’m sure you’d
recall his voice if you heard it. No. I think this
is something different. I’ll go back over our notes and see what I
can find out. “Thanks,
Doc.” “As for the base.
I’m sure we could stick it out here, but I’ll keep my eyes open for a
better spot. And, for what it’s worth, you’re not the leader
because you objected less. You’re the leader because when the bad
stuff happens, we all run to you for protection. You are, quite
literally, our shelter.” Doug stood up, and thanked
her for listening, then walked off to the main doors to get some
air. A few moments later, came a
new knock on the door. This time it was
Lista. “Hey, um, you got a
sec?” She put her book down again.
“Sure.” “This is a notepad talk I
think.” Epim picked up her pad and
flipped to a clean page. Lista sighed, then began, “I
wanted to fill you in on the talks I’ve been having with Ent, and to ask you
about some other stuff.” “Does Ent know you’re
talking to me about her like this?” “Yeah. She’s
cool with it. We’ve been talking a lot and she finally thinks she
might be ready to talk to you directly.” “Okay, then.
What’s up?” “Well, we all know she feels
alone. She misses her own kind, and stuff. And I
think that’s understandable. The thing is, she’s a little upset
that we seem to be using her for everything except the only thing she
knows. She knows how to guard prisoners. That’s
it. That’s her sole purpose for even existing. When
she’s here, she does everything except that. When we finally get
to the point that we have someone to guard, they take that person off so someone
else can do it. I mean, It would be like you waking up tomorrow to
find you’re a drill instructor for the marines. All of your psych
training is useless, because if someone does have a problem, and there is
something you can do about it, they are taken away from
you.” “That all fits with what
I’ve been thinking. We need to find a way to get her to accept
that she’s not just a guard, but maybe a bodyguard too. If we can
get her to think in terms of protecting us, as if we were prisoners that were
under attack by other prisoners, then maybe we can get her to expand the ‘us’ to
include the average citizen of Paragon as well.” “That’s a big
‘if’.” “True, but it’s all I can
think of for now. What was the other reason you came
in?” “Something Ent said to me
when we first started talking. I asked her why she selected me to
be the one she talked to and her answer has sort of eaten at me ever
since. She said she picked me because we were the same.
Both alone among people that were different. I agree that I
feel alone a lot of the time, but I didn’t think anyone here was any
different. When I asked her what she meant, she said that I wasn’t
human. This is big news to me. When I was trying to
find out who I was, I had a “Yeah. I’d
have never guessed. Did she say why she thinks
that?” “She said that I look
totally different from the rest of you when we come inside. The
way she explained it, and based on what I looked up, she’s saying that I radiate
UV light all the time, not just the reflections from the sunlight.
She said it’s just a tiny amount, but far more than any person she’s ever
seen here.” “Do you want me to set up
some tests?” “If you know anyone, yes,
that would be awesome. The more we talked, the more she made it
sound like I was like her; a stranger to this world.” “Okay. I’ll
let you know when I have a date and place.” Lista left the room and Epim
started reading again, only to be interrupted for the third time that
night. This time by Jyn and Tonix. “Um, do you have a
minute?” “Yes. What can
I do for you?” “Well,” Tonix said.
He was obviously nervous. “Jyn and I were talking it over,
and well, this just isn’t what we’d expected. Don’t get me wrong,
you guys are all great. We just mean the lifestyle.
We’re not really cut out to be heroes.” “You’re quitting the
group?” “The whole city
really. We were thinking about moving out west somewhere.
Like I said, you guys are great, and we love you all like family, but we
just can’t take the lifestyle anymore.” “I understand, but I have to
say I’m a little shocked. When did you plan on
leaving?” “Tonight. Jyn
wanted to just sneak away so no one would see her cry, but I felt we needed to
tell someone what was going on, in person. We did leave a
note.” “Wow. I don’t
know what to say. I wish you the best, and I’d love for you keep
in touch, but I really think you should stick around and let the others get
their chance at a goodbye as well.” “We’ll talk it over some
more. But if were not here in the morning, let the others know
we’ll be in touch once we get settled?” “I
will.” They left her alone in the
little room and quietly closed the door. Epim sat for some time,
thinking about what just happened. Finally, she decided to say
nothing, and just hope they stuck round until dawn. When Epim came into the
breakfast area, Mourning was already there. On the table before
here was a note. “They just left?
How the hell can they just leave? Not a word to
anyone. Just some stupid note!” “Actually, they came to me
last night to tell me they were going. I tried to get them to
stick around, but I guess they chose differently.” “And you just let them
go?” “We’re not a prison.
I couldn’t have made them stay.” Mourning tossed the letter
back on the table and walked out of the room. Epim knew she was
going to find that spot on the War Wall she visits from time to
time. As the others woke up, they
were all given the news. The base was very quiet the rest of the
day and on into the night. A week later, Epim got a
message from Tonix. They were settled, and doing well.
They were sorry that they had snuck off in the night like that, but Jyn
wouldn’t have it any other way. He said there was more to the
story, but it would have to wait. That same night, Doug came
to see Epim again. “Doc! Doc!
Wake up! I figured it out! It wasn’t just a
dream!” Epim put on her robe and
opened the door for him. She asked him to slow down, and go
through it all, very slowly. “I couldn’t sleep, or didn’t
want to try, so I got dressed and went off to patrol
“Turns out there were a lot
more of those things around. We started hunting them, and doing
really well. We got a call that said there were four of them over
by Subgenetics, so I took off. When I arrived, there they were,
two coming from either side. I pulled out my axe and ran up to the
closer group and hit each one once, then ran back to the other group and said
something about pumpkin pie that they didn’t seem to like much. My
first step should have been to look around to see that the rest of my team was
there. Just as I got the full fury of the attack, everyone on my
team left. There I was, alone in the street with four giant
pumpkin things and about two dozen of the smaller ones, and I was losing.
So I focus, and do like you said. I called deep inside
myself and tried to get some help from The Other Guy. Nothing
happened for a second, then I heard the voice in my head. It said,
‘I can’t help unless you let me.’ It really freaked me out.
Then it said, ‘Doug, we’re out of time. Don’t make me push
through, let me help.’ “I didn’t know what to
do! I was getting beat up pretty bad, and here is this voice
asking me to move, but there’s nowhere to go. So I thought,
‘Yeah. Okay sure. Have at them.’ I
swear! It was just like that day with Tony. All of
the sudden, I’m standing outside my body, watching. This time
though, I wasn’t behind a building, or in a doorway, I was right behind my own
shoulder. The Other Guy looks exactly like me! He is
me! Sort of. Once he took over it was like we were
nearly invincible. We didn’t just not get hit as hard, we didn’t
get hit as often either. Turns out it wasn’t enough, and we still
got creamed, but it really opened my eyes. “After the fight, I had a
long conversation with myself. The Other Guy isn’t something I tap
into when I need it. It’s something that comes to the surface to
protect me, the same way that I come up to protect you guys.
That’s all he’s ever wanted to do. When I call on him, he
just pops up in my place. If I let him do it, I stay close and can
call out threats to him, but if I resist, then he basically has to shove me
aside. That’s they way it happened with Tony and my father.
This changes a lot of stuff.” “I—I don’t know what to
say. I need to look over my notes, and confer with a few
colleagues. Are you saying that instead of fusing the two
personalities into one, that the second one really is a second one in your
body? And your are totally aware of everything he does when he’s
in control?” “I think so.
We talked quite a bit, and I can call on him at will now.
This is really going to change a lot of stuff for me. I can
call him up, if you want to talk to him directly. I know he wants
to talk to you.” “Yes. I think
that would be for the best, but not tonight. How is tomorrow
morning for you…uhh, guys?” “That’ll work.” |