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Wilder Than It Seems
By: Rebecca McQuarrie
**It’s just my opinion, but I find this reads better in a British accent.**
Crispin Wilder is a geek. To be specific, Crispin Wilder is a techno-geek. If you can plug it in, wind it up, put batteries in it or even, on occasion, a lemon or potato, then Crispin is intensely interested. This isn’t to say that Crispin doesn’t have, and more than occasionally display, typical geek qualities. He has, in fact, been known to dabble in role-playing and comic book reading, and he spends a large quantity of time playing on an online game where you can be a superhero. Little did Crispin know that all these interests were destiny’s way of preparing him for his future.
Crispin was born in an ordinary town, in an ordinary state, in what was once an ordinary country. Growing up in the information age, it was only natural that he take an interest in the growing industry of technology. It all started with the birth of his baby brother, Nicodemus. I suppose this would be a good time to note that Crispin’s parents met in the theology department at their local university. Her thesis being on modern saints and his being on the impact of ancient saints on today’s Christian belief system.
But I digress. On the day that Nic arrived in the Wilder household, so did a shiny new set of baby monitors. Upon hearing his little brother’s cries coming from a little plastic box, four year old Cris decided to let him out. After laboriously beating it with a wooden mallet, which was received as part of a Christmas present, he managed to break it open. Not being completely satisfied with his success, as his little brother’s squeals were still being emitted, he proceed to disassemble the internal workings, determined to find out where in that little box Nic was hiding. As with all children, Cris’ attention span was minimal and after what can be considered a substantial amount of time, his attention waned. Shoving the pieces under his bed for later investigation, he wandered off and promptly forgot about the broken monitor.
As happens, time passed, seasons changed and a seven year old Crispin was forced to clean under his bed. Coming across the parts, he felt slightly guilty over the destruction of the radio, but more then that he felt a strong curiosity and challenge. Could he put it back together? Would it still work? His task of cleaning promptly forgotten, Cris spent the rest of the afternoon piecing the monitor back together. After a few failed attempts he managed to get it working, although the only thing he could pick up was static. From that point on, there was not a single electrical item in the house that was safe from his curiosity, and from there on, Cris only received socks and underwear for Christmas, along with the occasional sweater.
Since most of his time was spent playing with his mechanical mini-army of robots, by the time he reached middle school, Crispin’s social skills were a little under developed. Seeing this, his parents suggested he participate in a sport. After a near shattered wrist from football, and a black eye from baseball, he finally got his parents to agree that archery was not only a sport, but a safer sport than the rest. He was well on his way to the FITA world cup when he was disqualified for the use of an electronic targeting device that was invisible to the naked eye, but could be seen with special glasses. The upside of the whole matter was that he was immediately contracted by a large bow corporation to develop and patent the technology.
Using his bow connection as a spring board, Cris expanded into other useful gadgets and eventually grabbed the attention of the heroes of Paragon City. As his name was already well known, Crispin decided to skip college and move to Paragon to open his own business; Handiworks.
Business was booming on the afternoon that Cris was scheduled to deliver a newly redesigned, self retracting, grappling hook to a client. The day was sunny and warm, so he decided to take a detour through Perez Park. Unfortunately, being completely absorbed in work, Cris was unaware that the park had recently become a hang out for some of the less reputable inhabitants of the city. Lost in thought, he didn’t realize this until he had wandered into a group of alarmingly altered homeless people. They had apparently taken to sleeping on his favorite bench. Counting his blessings that he had not only the grappling hook on hand, but a smattering of other items as well, he braced himself for a fight. He aimed the hook at the biggest guy and fired, knocking him to the ground. Reaching into his pockets, he found a handful of caltrops and a test version of a cloaking device. Praying that it worked, he threw the caltrops, hit the button on the cloaking device, and aimed the hook at the nearest tree. As this was the first thing in his memory that worked so flawlessly on the first try, Crispin was amazed by his effortless escape. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he looked around and realized how dangerous the park had become. Remaining cloaked, he took off toward the Steel Canyon entrance and his appointment.
It was only after recounting the story to his client that he became aware of what he had actually done. Upon the suggestion of the newly equipped hero, Crispin began contemplating his own career choice. He knew his inventions worked. Why couldn’t he use them just as easily as the next guy? With that thought in mind, he strode off towards City Hall to complete his registration. And that, my friends, is how Crispin Wilder became more than just a geek… he became a Super-geek.