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Wilder Than It
Seems By: Rebecca McQuarrie **It’s just my
opinion, but I find this reads better in a British accent.** Crispin
Wilder is a geek. To be specific,
Crispin Wilder is a techno-geek. If you
can plug it in, wind it up, put batteries in it or even, on occasion, a lemon
or potato, then Crispin is intensely interested. This isn’t to say that Crispin doesn’t have,
and more than occasionally display, typical geek qualities. He has, in fact, been known to dabble in
role-playing and comic book reading, and he spends a large quantity of time
playing on an online game where you can be a superhero. Little did Crispin know that all these
interests were destiny’s way of preparing him for his future. Crispin
was born in an ordinary town, in an ordinary state, in what was once an
ordinary country. Growing up in the
information age, it was only natural that he take an interest in the growing
industry of technology. It all started with
the birth of his baby brother, Nicodemus.
I suppose this would be a good time to note that Crispin’s parents met
in the theology department at their local university. Her thesis being on modern saints and his
being on the impact of ancient saints on today’s Christian belief system. But I
digress. On the day that Nic arrived in
the Wilder household, so did a shiny new set of baby monitors. Upon hearing his little brother’s cries
coming from a little plastic box, four year old Cris decided to let him out. After laboriously beating it with a wooden
mallet, which was received as part of a Christmas present, he managed to break
it open. Not being completely satisfied
with his success, as his little brother’s squeals were still being emitted, he
proceed to disassemble the internal workings, determined to find out where in
that little box Nic was hiding. As with
all children, Cris’ attention span was minimal and after what can be considered
a substantial amount of time, his attention waned. Shoving the pieces under his bed for later
investigation, he wandered off and promptly forgot about the broken
monitor. As
happens, time passed, seasons changed and a seven year old Crispin was forced
to clean under his bed. Coming across
the parts, he felt slightly guilty over the destruction of the radio, but more
then that he felt a strong curiosity and challenge. Could he put it back together? Would it still work? His task of cleaning promptly forgotten, Cris
spent the rest of the afternoon piecing the monitor back together. After a few failed attempts he managed to get
it working, although the only thing he could pick up was static. From that point on, there was not a single
electrical item in the house that was safe from his curiosity, and from there
on, Cris only received socks and underwear for Christmas, along with the
occasional sweater. Since
most of his time was spent playing with his mechanical mini-army of robots, by
the time he reached middle school, Crispin’s social skills were a little under
developed. Seeing this, his parents
suggested he participate in a sport.
After a near shattered wrist from football, and a black eye from
baseball, he finally got his parents to agree that archery was not only a
sport, but a safer sport than the rest. He
was well on his way to the FITA world cup when he was disqualified for the use
of an electronic targeting device that was invisible to the naked eye, but
could be seen with special glasses. The
upside of the whole matter was that he was immediately contracted by a large
bow corporation to develop and patent the technology. Using
his bow connection as a spring board, Cris expanded into other useful gadgets
and eventually grabbed the attention of the heroes of Paragon City. As his name was already well known, Crispin
decided to skip college and move to Paragon to open his own business; Handiworks.
Business
was booming on the afternoon that Cris was scheduled to deliver a newly
redesigned, self retracting, grappling hook to a client. The day was sunny and warm, so he decided to
take a detour through Perez Park. Unfortunately,
being completely absorbed in work, Cris was unaware that the park had recently
become a hang out for some of the less reputable inhabitants of the city. Lost in thought, he didn’t realize this until
he had wandered into a group of alarmingly altered homeless people. They had apparently taken to sleeping on his
favorite bench. Counting his blessings
that he had not only the grappling hook on hand, but a smattering of other
items as well, he braced himself for a fight.
He aimed the hook at the biggest guy and fired, knocking him to the
ground. Reaching into his pockets, he
found a handful of caltrops and a test version of a cloaking device. Praying that it worked, he threw the
caltrops, hit the button on the cloaking device, and aimed the hook at the
nearest tree. As this was the first
thing in his memory that worked so flawlessly on the first try, Crispin was
amazed by his effortless escape. Taking
a moment to catch his breath, he looked around and realized how dangerous the
park had become. Remaining cloaked, he
took off toward the Steel Canyon entrance and his appointment. It was
only after recounting the story to his client that he became aware of what he
had actually done. Upon the suggestion
of the newly equipped hero, Crispin began contemplating his own career
choice. He knew his inventions
worked. Why couldn’t he use them just as
easily as the next guy? With that
thought in mind, he strode off towards City Hall to complete his
registration. And that, my friends, is
how Crispin Wilder became more than just a geek… he became a Super-geek. |